Becoming Myself

Looking for something
still haven't found what it is and where it is
i'm in my own hole
dark and deep, but comfortable
the dawn never comes there unless essential

someone spits above my head
it comes down on my face slowly
lick and swallow it to feel that i am alive
to feel i am alive

sunday privilege for myself
monday duty for MYSELF?

looking for something
still haven't found what it is
but getting closer and closer where it is
finally i can hear myself crying as a child

want an incinerator

Can clean up my room
can clean up my cat's litter
can clean up my mind...

ever?

think of me?

A new year
sounds like that nothing has changed
same bed,same mug,same tea and same smell
unhealthy to feel like that?
healthy to pretend to find something new?
it gives me goose pimples
like it though
it makes me walk like a penguin

i need to pee

i didn't mind the final warning

Sesames in my face
try to squeeze them out
some of them are out easily, some not
i am thinking how the inside of my brain is
wondering that lots of them in it
serious problem
not good idea to smash it to see
but i am sure that there should be
and they come out through my skin when get full