Becoming Myself

Looking for something
still haven't found what it is and where it is
i'm in my own hole
dark and deep, but comfortable
the dawn never comes there unless essential

someone spits above my head
it comes down on my face slowly
lick and swallow it to feel that i am alive
to feel i am alive

sunday privilege for myself
monday duty for MYSELF?

looking for something
still haven't found what it is
but getting closer and closer where it is
finally i can hear myself crying as a child